Hump Day

Been awhile since I've been on this thing, although its pretty much just me and my thoughts. Maybe one day I'll have loyal followers.

A famous cardiologist died, and everyone was gathered at his funeral. His coffin was displayed in front of a huge model heart. When the minister finished his sermon and everyone said their good-byes, the heart was opened, the coffin rolled inside, and the heart closed. Just at that moment, one of the mourners started laughing. The guy next to him asked, "Why are you laughing?" The mourner said, "Well, I was just thinking about my own funeral." The man asked, "Well, what's so funny about that?" And the mourner said, "I'm a gynecologist."

Dislike Button Add-On! Get It...

Now there's a dislike add-on button FOR FIREFOX USERS ONLY. It isn't from Facebook but it works FOR FIREFOX USERS ONLY. Facebook is now fun again.

If you didn't get that before, here's the link again:
https://addons.mozilla.org/en-US/firefox/addon/47023

Spiderman 4

Just heard the werrrd that John Malkovich will play The Vulture in Spiderman 4, scheduled for release May 5th, 2011. I can't wait. To be in it.

Goodbye to a Shitty Decade

I've always been the type of person who looks toward the new year with great anticipation. NYE always brings about a refreshed enthusiasm for life that usually lasts a few weeks. I have set a lot of goals set for 2010, but lets get right to it-the past decade was just plain terrible. Don't get me wrong-lots of good things happened too, but over all, I think it was a pretty shitty decade.

I turned 21 at the turn of the decade (yes, I'm old) and boy did I party. I was living in California at the time. It was awesome to finally get to drink without having to get someone to buy me alcohol or going down to Tijuana every weekend. Enough foreplay though. Lets break down the last 10 years in a time line:

2000:
This was supposed to be the dawn of a new millennium, but all it did was stress people out.
• Y2K – I still don’t get it. What a waste of time.
• Bush and Putin are elected presidents in their respective countries, Hugo Chavez re-elected in Venezuela. There went the neighborhood. But Hilary Clinton is elected to NY Senate.
• Charles Schultz dies, and the final original Peanuts comic strip is published
• Pope John Paul II visits Israel…that’s a big deal
• Oh, & I deployed to Okinawa Japan with the 31st MEU for 6 months. Good times!

2001:
We all remember THIS year.
• Wikipedia launched!
• Silvio Berlusconi wins the Italian General Elections. Playa playa!
• Versailles wedding hall disaster. Wow.
• September 11, 2001. I cried like a baby that morning.
• War in Afghanistan begins, anthrax attacks, and ENRON!

2002:
I got nothing.
• UN Arms inspectors begin snoopin and poopin in Iraq. They didn't find anything but we invaded anyway - cause we're gansta. Bitches.
• The Euro is issued in a bunch of European countries.
• Dept of Justice bends Enron over & “investigates them.”
• Andrea Yates found guilty of drowning her 5 kids.
• DC/Beltway Sniper crushes the stereotype that black people aren’t serial killers.


2003:
War! Huh! Yeah! What is it good for? Absolutely nu-thin!
• On Valentine’s Day that year, I boarded a bus to North Carolina. After a week of training, off to Kuwait.
• May 1 – Mission Accomplished. Bush declares war over. Ha.
• CIA scandal exposing Valerie Plame.
• The Terminator becomes governor of California.
• Saddam captured. Who cares? Where the fuck is Osama?

2004:
Busy news year.
• Pats win the Super Bowl!
• Facebook founded! Shweeet!
• Scientists in Moscow clone 30 human embryos. Ew.
• Aristide resigns Haitian presidency. Despicable piece of shit.
• Ronald Reagan dies, Bush re-elected, Colin Powell resigns. Heeerrrrr’s Condie!
• Red Sox break the Curse of the Bambino.
• Earth Quake in the Indian Ocean causes tsunami in Thailand, India, Malaysia and other countries. Death toll 187,000 with more than 40,000 STILL MISSING.


2005:
Hump year!
• Pope John Paul II dies. Along came Emperor Palpatine - I mean Pope Benedict XVI. ☹
• Kuwaiti women are granted the right to vote. But they still can’t park a stinking car.
• My son was born right before I got out of the Marine Corps!


2006:
...but where's Bin Laden?
• Ehud Olmert becomes prime minister of Israel.
• The first World Baseball Classic proved that the best players or America’s Pastime in the world aren’t even American.
• Fidel Castro relinquishes power to his kid bro, Raul.
• Saddam sentenced to death – and executed.


2007:
It really goes downhill from here.
• Time names Vladimir Putin Person of The Year. Really?
• Anna Nicole Smith, Merv Griffin, Brooke Astor, Phil Rizzuto, Leona Helmsley, Pimp C all died.
• Sub prime Mortgage Crisis


2008:
What a year!
• Stock market crashes.
• Fidel Castro officially resigns.
• Mike Phelps makes history, winning 8 Olympic gold medals! A star is bong – I mean born.
• Lehman Bros. Files for bankruptcy!
• Barack Obama elected! My president is black, my Maybach’s blue, and I’ll be God damned if my diamonds ain’t too…
• Bernie Madoff arrested for operating the largest Ponzi scheme in history.


2009:
Its finally over...
• Michael Jackson dies and no one cares that another white woman, Farrah Fawcett died too. Ouch.
• Air France flight to Rio crashes in the ocean.
• Can you say “Swine Flu?”
• Tiger Woods banged every white woman on the Planet.
• Roman Polanski…you’re goin to jail-ski…

I’m sure I missed a lot so let a brother know. Happy New Year!

R.I.P. Brittany Murphy

Damn. This sucks. I'm so sad that Brittany Murphy died over the weekend. I think she was a very talented actress, and a beautiful one at that. I'm sorry I'll never get to work with her. On another note, WTF is up with her husband trying to prevent the coroner from doing an autopsy?? He used to be a decent looking human being-now he looks like a big, fat sweaty walrus.

Lindsay's Private Party

I can't say I've seen much of Lindsay Lohan's work, but I am subject to her constant tabloid adventures. I hear she's a talented actress, but its terrible she seems to be going down a self-destructive path. That being said, I like this new video of her shot by Yu Tsai (heh heh, "YOU-SAY") for MUSE magazine. I'm sold...and I'm attracted to her too. Check it out.

Lindsay Lohan Muse by Yu Tsai from Юрий Кикало on Vimeo.

Brigitte Bardot & Dior Chérie Campagne

Apparently this is the French version of Sofia Coppola's ad for Christian Dior's Miss Dior Chérie fragrance, using the song "Moi Je Joue" by Brigitte Bardot. I can't say I know much about Miss Bardot, but I should probably do my homework. I think its a really cool concept. This is the sort of creative stuff I'd like to be doing.